So I've been going through the book "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers and I have to say that it is rather insightful.
The past couple days have been about the Rich Young Ruler. Yesterday's entry (and today's quote) said the following: "I can be so rich in my own poverty, or in the awareness of the fact that I am nobody, that I will never be a disciple of Jesus. Or I can be so rich in the awareness that I am somebody that I will never be a disciple. Am I willing to be destitute and poor even in my sense of awareness of my destitution and poverty? If not, that is why I become discouraged. Discouragement is disillusioned self-love, and self-love may be love for my devotion to Jesus - not love for Jesus Himself."
This concept is one I've wrestled with on and off for a while. How much consideration should one give oneself? Where is the line between taking care of oneself and being self absorbed? Do we have any rights as humans at all? Or do we surrender all of those rights when we become Christians? Where's the line between serving and people walking on you? Where's the line between sacrifice and being mistreated? Where do you put your foot down? Is it right to even expect people, especially other Christians, to treat you with some amount of respect? Or should you hold no expectations at all?
I've caught myself saying lately to God and myself, "I'm a human being, beyond that, I'm a child of God, there is no good reason he/she should be treating me like this!" And then God always gently prompts my spirit and reminds me that Jesus was the Son of God... and look how they treated Him. We're supposed to follow in His footsteps right?
But at the same time, we're not supposed to roll over and play dead. Our love is supposed to be a strong love.
I wish I had an answer for all of these questions mulling around in my head. If anyone does, I would love to hear it. In the meantime, I shall continue to try and find a balance on my own... searching the Bible for some sort of insight into this matter which has so puzzled my mind.
Me off.
wow, ery.......
ReplyDeletethis was a beautiful and honest entry. so simple too.... :) I love you.
Hey Erin!
ReplyDeleteSo I'm working on figuring out the blog world...and today I discovered that you have this blog. Wow, there is lots that I am liking about this. Your blog is awesome. Giraffe sightings? Yes! This must be why we are friends.
Also, note to this post - I have a good friend who for the past year has been working through lots of boundary issues. For her, growing in maturity and taking leaps of faith has meant confronting people, learning to say 'no', and sticking up for herself. There was a book she read that really seemed to give her a lot of insight, I'll ask her what it was...