26. A Childhood Memory

Haha. Didn't realize this was next when I posted yesterday. Hmm. Well, its not really an event, but when we were little, Jimmy and I (adding in random people such as Emily and Bret, or Sarah, or our siblings) used to ride our bikes to a park near us at our old house. Its kind of not the best place, but when we were little, we didn't realize that the broken glass bottles in the woods we played in meant anything more than having to watch our steps. But we used to build forts, play kickball, ride our bikes around the park. Me and Jimmy started a strange thing where we would take any item we found interesting (a cool rock, feather, shiny things... not bottle pieces) and bury them by the dugout area of the baseball field there. We called it our treasure.

While exploring the wooded area there one day we discovered a "island". Technically it was attached to land on one side so it would be a peninsula type thing. But even at that, the creek that ran through the woods was so small it really couldn't even be considered such. But we called it "Indian Head Island" based on the shape. We built bridges and forts and made signs. It was the base for many adventures.

And there you have part of my kidhood.

Lord, I Want to Yearn for You

My insides are filled with Home-longing tonight. I want to be with Jesus. I'm not feeling emo or wanting to die or anything... I just want to be with Him. I want to see Him with my eyes. Right now. I just love Him and I know He's the only One who won't ever hurt me. I know that I'm never second or third best with Him. I know I delight Him... somehow, though this fact boggles my mind a bit. I don't understand why I can't be with Him sometimes. It's really all I want.

Sometimes I can sense Him so closely I can almost see His delight or sadness or whatever it is at the moment. But I can't quite. It's like it's something just out of my grasp. It simply lies on the other side of death. But I don't necessarily want that right now, except that it would send me to Him. I live here on this earth because He asks me to.

I love when He whispers things to my heart. But I want to hear His voice. I want to nestle myself into Him. I want to be known and loved for exactly who I am. No "except for's" involved.

My home is not here. My family is not restricted merely to those who share my blood. But to all who share His blood with me. I know everyone's like "the family of God" and whatever. But for me it really is like that. If you love Jesus, you're as much family to me as my siblings. There's not a difference in my mind.

My love could never fully belong to another here as it does to Jesus.

I want to be with Him.

Me off.

25. A Recipe

Nature Stew (warning, this is not edible, this is something me and my siblings would make as kids)

You start with a bucket of water, you subsequently add enough dirt to give it a beef gravy color. Then you collect the seeds of birch tres, grass, dandilion heads, tear up some leaves (preferably oak), and some of the poison (we think) red berries from the trees down the street. Then you stir it all together and serve it with mud burgers (buns made of leaves). And you have the perfect fake meal.

24. A Movie Noone Would Expect You to Love

My first thought was "My Blueberry Nights". But as odd as that movie is, its really not a surprise that I would love it. Then I thought of "Sweeny Todd". I do love that movie. And I ordinarily wouldn't because it has alot of knife-type violence. Which I don't do well with. At all. But there's something disturbingly amazing about that movie. Maybe its the entirely dementedness of it. I enjoy books with twisted, demented killers. But usually movies like that just serve to give me nightmares. I really enjoyed the music though, too. And that is why I love Sweeny Todd.

23. A Way in Which You Want to Be Remembered

I think as someone who was loyal and dependable. I want to be known to complete what I start and to stick by things and people even when it gets rough.

22. A Website

http://www.etsy.com/ 

Its basically a website for people to sell home-made items. Some of the stuff is really cool. They have some pretty sweet jewelry and furniture and art.

Day 21: Something you know you do differently than most people.

Life? Pretty much. Yeah. I hold my pen different than most people too. Yay me. Lol

I Have a Dream - My Version

There beats in my soul a vision that I can't ignore, won't go away and haunts me almost daily. Its a vision of unity, of revival, of revolution.

I dream that one day, when I drive through my town, I will see evidence of God everywhere. The homeless being fed, clothed, even given homes. Neighbors serving and loving each other. People praying for each other. Random acts of God everywhere.

I want to see the local body of Christ unite. To see, not seperate churches, but one Church that meets in different locations. I want to see the pastors being friends and supporting each other. Holding each other accountable. Praying for each other.

I want to see the schools infiltrated and saturated with Jesus.

I want to see worship. Everywhere.

I want to see God. His glory revealed, His love unveiled, His power released. In my city.

I want a revolution. I want to see the people of God strip off the limitations they put on Him. I want to see them break free of their plans, their traditions and ceremony. I want to see the limitless God.

I want to see people healed.

I want to fight the battle for my city. I don't want to sit by, complacent, any longer. Mediocre isn't enough anymore. Tolerable doesn't cut it. Occasional experience of God isn't ok.

He has a plan for this city and I'm just about bursting at the seams to see it happen.

I have an idea. Its bold. It may be a bit insane. But I'm gonna give it a shot.

20. A Hobby of Yours

I know its a bit early, but I'm gonna be busy tomorrow. Truth be told, I don't really have much time for hobbies these days. I enjoy reading greatly. Listening and actively discovering good music... I like getting to know people.. not sure that's a hobby though. Lol. But yeah. Pretty much if I have good music and a good book, I'm happy.

19. A Talent That You Have

I can do the wave with my eyebrows. The end.

17. An Art Piece

I have to pick my painting. First cause I love it. Second cause I love it. Third cause I love it.

I do love art. What kind of art? I will show you some examples (the similar color scheme was unintentional. I do largely enjoy art outside of these colors as well.):

In the abstract category usually things like this:

I love urban decay! I know its weird, but it just captures my insides. I think it has something to do with how I love broken things. I think they're beautiful.

I found all of these pieces on etsy.com

Me off.

16. A Song that Makes You Cry

That would be How He Loves (esp when Kim Walker does it). And Do You Know the Way You Move Me by Cory Asbury.

15. A Person You Admire

I can't really pick just one for this... First would be Pastor Mark. I'm beginning to realized how much I've learned from him and because of that I just have a renewed respect for him. He was able to run a tight ship when it came to everything he did. Things didn't really fall through the cracks. I don't know how he did it, but I definitely admire him for that.

Yvonne I admire because of her total dependence and surrender to Jesus.

Mrs. Reusser because she's an amazing mother and I would like to be able to be like her in that area. Also she's had to overcome alot of things, has come out on the other side and is running for Jesus.

That's a good enough list for now I think.

14. A Vacation You Would Like to Take

As in get away and relax vacation? Probably Alaska... in the not freezing cold times of the year. But otherwise just send me to St. Louis and I'd be happy. It's where I'd rather be anyway. Oh! Or I could go to New Zealand. I always thought that would be cool. Plus then I could see Patrick. And where the Lord of the Rings was filmed. (No, I'm not a nerd. What are you talking about? Lol.) Actually, at this point, any vacation would be nice simply because it would mean time off.

13. A Guilty Pleasure

Starbucks wins this one hands down. If I could live there, I probably would. I find that I have better focus for things such as reading and studying there. And those are 2 of my favorite things to do. I know, I'm a nerd. I also have an unfathomable love for the peppermint mocha. Where I live it is also conveniently located right next door to Chipotle, so if I get hungry, I just need to walk next door. As far as social interaction is concerned, pretty much everyone I know goes there to hang out. One time a couple years ago I actually went in there and was there for about 8 hours. I was reading and it just happened that periodically people I would know would come in and we'd hang out for a while. After the first set of people left, a little bit after someone else I knew came in. And it continued as such for 8 hours.

Anyway, basic point; guilty pleaure = Starbucks.

Lessons from a Pastor Past

- Ministry is hard, but possible. Through Jesus only.
- Integrity is key
- If you're on a worship team, you're a worship leader.
- Leading people into worship is a great responsibility and in order to do it, you have to enter into worship yourself first. Its not a show.
- Discipleship is vital.
- Stand for what is right. Even if it means being disliked or unpopular.
- Have a plan but don't be afraid to go off of the beaten path if the Spirit leads.
- Always leave a legacy wherever you go.
- Do hard things.

These are just some of the lessons that I learned by watching one of the most influential pastors in my life (Pastor Mark). His absence is noticable to me right now.

Me off.

12. A Song You Want Played at Your Wedding

I'm actually not really sure? Being my practical self I wouldn't mind "Who are We Fooling" by Brooke Fraser. But its kinda depressing for a wedding, so I wouldn't do it. I really haven't actually thought much about my wedding. I know that's weird for a girl... but I never claimed to be typical.

10. A Picture of You Taken Over 10 Years Ago

Ready?

Dun dun dun.

A Day in the Life

I initially wanted to simply out my sister for doing something I found funny. But then I realized that most people don't know what normal life is like at my house. So I've decided to give you a tour. Mind you this isn't entirely accurate, since some of the normal activities are not currently happening. However, I invite you into my life at home.

We'll start with when you walk in the door. First you would see me sitting at the computer and Libbie at the computer next to me. What is she doing? Well she decided that she wanted to learn to break dance. I know it looks like she's doing push ups, but she's not.

Continuing on into the living room/kitchen area. Its pretty normal to see one or both of my future sister-in-laws hanging out. Tonight Ben and Janelle are both on lap tops. Janelle is probably working on wedding plans. Ben is probably watching youtube videos.

In the kitchen you can often find a small congregation of people talking, not so tonight. But we'll say hi to my dad.

He's not very social. Lol.

Going downstairs, unfortunately, it is fairly common to see the television on.

That's Nick. No, he's not sick. He's just being lazy.

If you were to go even further downstairs into the depths of the boys lair, usually you will find the younger boys (sometimes Ben and/or Nick) and their friends playing video games in the bachelor pad.

My mom is almost always found facebooking on one computer or another.

I was going to post a picture of Sam coming out of the bathroom, but it was too blurry. I was going to add this because in a house with over 10 people in it on a regular basis, the bathrooms are very frequently occupied.

And there you have it. That's an evening at my house. Not too exciting, but if you look below the surface usually you'll find something a little bit quirky. Such as Libbie break dancing. And we won't even get into the conversations that go down. Maybe one day you'll get to experience this. Maybe not. We shall see.

Me off.

9. A Picture that I Took

This I took a while ago... I actually took it while driving and wasn't even looking at my phone while shooting the picture. But I like it. Sooo yay!

8. A Thank You Letter to Someone Who Has Changed Your Life

Hmm. Honestly, to publically type out a thank you letter to any of the people who have significantly impacted my life would be a little too personal for me. Suffice it to say Jesus would be at the top of that list. If you want to see a goofy thank you note I wrote, it's posted earlier on in this blog. Here's the link: Riiiiggghhhhtttt Here.

Me off.

Ps. Contemplating thoughts that will follow when they are completed. To quote something that sounds profound, but isn't and has nothing to do with what I'm actually contemplating; "A promise between friends means never needing to have a reason." - Pheobe from Friends.

7. Five Things You Couldn't Live Without

1. Isn't so much a thing... but Jesus. I know it sounds cliche, but I'm more serious than you could know.
2. My iPod
3. My Bible
4. My car
5. My phone

That's my painfully honest list. Lol.

One of the Most Powerful Songs I've Ever Experienced

Do You Know the Way You Move Me? by Cory Asbury

Make sure you have some time on your hands when you listen to this (its about 22 minutes long). But do listen to it. Its powerful. Keep in mind that the concept is that of God singing to His children. Its mostly prophetic singing. Recorded live at the IHOP in Kansas City. I'll put the lyrics below. This song and "How He Loves" have both made huge impacts on my life.


“Do you know how you've caught me eye in the secret place where you chose to die?

Do you know the way you move me? I see every time you laid down those other things for me, I see every time you seek my face beloved one. I see every movement of your heart towards me, I do. I see every little movement of your heart towards me. Though you're weak my beloved, I see your love, I see your love. And though it's small my beloved, I see your heart, I see your love. And though it ain't much my beloved one, I see the way that you want me, that you need Me, that you've gotta have Me, I see it. I see every little desire, every little passion, every little piece of hunger, every little thing, I see it all. Nothing goes unseen from My eye, nothing goes unseen from My gaze. Every time you look towards Me, I see it, EVERY TIME you stare at Me I see it, I see your love, how small it may be I see it all my beloved one. Every time you look My way I see it, every time you stare at me I see it. Though it feels a little weak sometimes, though it feels a little broken sometimes, I see every second, every little glance, every little glance my way, I see it, I see it, I love it, I love it, I love you just the way you are, I love you, I love you, listen my beloved one. Every little glance towards me, I see it. Every little time you look at me I see it. Every movement of your heart, every movement of your heart, I see it.

Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know? Do you know the way you undo My heart My beloved? I love every sacrifice you've made, every time you say no one cares, I see it. Do you know the way you move Me?

You're beautiful just the way you are. You're beautiful My love, My dove, My favorite one, My joy, I love you right where you are, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll never stop, I'll never stop! I'm so in love with you, my bride, I'm so in love with you my favorite one. With every single little glance, with every movement of your will, with every decision that you've made, I'm undone. I love you with an everlasting love, I love you with an everlasting love. I'm not disappointed in you, I'm not angry with you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. So don't hide your face from me, I'll break off shame, I'll break off condemnation, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone, you're free. You've ravaged me, I'm undone, I'm not disappointed, I'm not angry, I'm in LOVE with you! You've ravaged me, I'm in love with you.

Do you know how you've caught my eye in the secret place where you chose to die? Where you chose to lay it all down, where you chose to follow me, where you chose to take up that cross day after day after day after day. You've ravaged my heart, you have. Just one glance of your eye, just one. My heart it's undone every time you look at me. Everyday that you don't give up, that you don't let go, that you don't look down, my heart it's undone, my heart it's ravaged.

Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know the way you move Me?

I saw when you gave it all up. I did. I saw it when you gave it all up. You passed up opportunity after opportunity just to seek me, just to find me, just to love me a little longer, I saw it. And it moved my heart. Don't think those little sacrifices go unnoticed. Don't think those little times go unnoticed, when you think I'm not looking at you. I saw it, I saw when you gave up everything to follow me, I did. I did and I'm pleased, and I'm proud, and I'm not mostly disappointed, and I'm not mostly mad, and I'm not mostly sad, and I'm happy with you and I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. My beloved one.


Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know the way you move Me?


I saw it when you left your friends behind, and I saw it when you left your family behind, and I saw it when you gave up everything just to follow me, just so you could love me a little bit more. I saw it when you left your friends behind, and I saw it when you left your family behind, and I saw it when you gave up everything, when you let go of everything just to find me, I saw it. I'm pleased and I'm proud. I love you, thank you! It really means something to Me that you did it all. It really means something to me that you gave it all up, that you gave it all up, and it's not for nothing, I'll meet you there in the longing. It's not for nothing, it's not for nothing, it's not for nothing. I saw it, I saw it.

Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know the way you move Me?

I saw it when you took the narrow road, I saw it when you took the road less traveled, I saw it when you took that narrow road, it's a little bit lonely sometimes, I saw it. I saw it when you left your friends behind and took that narrow road of love. I saw it. I saw it. I saw it. I love you, and I love you. I love you. I see your HEART, and I SEE YOUR HEART! That you want Me, I see it.I see it. I see it.”

6. A Moment You Wish You Could Relive

First, the reason I missed 2 days of this; I was ill. Bleh. I hate ill. Moving on.

I think a moment I wish I could relive is one that I don't actually remember, but has been told to me. When I was about 2, I guess my family's church at the time was having a guest speaker/prophet/or something like that come in. My dad said that the whole time we were getting ready to go I kept asking when I was going to get to see Jesus. Apparently I had somehow gotten it in my head that He was going to physically be there, and being 2, I didn't see anything wrong with that. I was excited. I think I'd like to relive that just to experience the pure innocence of the faith of a child again...

3. A Favorite Book(s)

I think top book(s) would have to be hands-down The Circle Trilogy by Ted DekKer. Why? Because it's the most incredible metaphor for salvation and life with Christ that I've ever read. Doesn't hurt that Ted DekKer is one of the most amazing authors ever either. Probably close to tied with that would be "When Heaven Weeps" also by him. That's for the deep thought provoking book genre. When it comes to creepy suspense books (I hate movies like that, but for some reason I love books that are creepy...? I don't understand it either.) But it would be "Skin", "House", "Saint" and "Sinner", also Ted DekKer.. (Frank Perretti co-wrote "House"). What can I say? He's a very versitile author.

Besides any books by him though, I also like The Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Tales of the Kingdom, and Harry Potter series.

2. A Favorite Movie

This is kinda tough. I don't think I have a favorite movie. But my current top 5, not in any specific order, are:
Despicable Me
Meet the Robinsons
My Sassy Girl
500 Days of Summer
Beauty and the Beast

Sleeping at Last January EP!!

Lyrics!

January White
So let's press undo
Rearrange the old and call it new
January white

Every calendar is playing the same old trick
A year will disappear replaced with counterfeit
But we'll never really mind

Cause if nothing else we're given a little time
To change the game a chance to redefine
Everything we are
In our January white

This year is a sealed envelope
A culmination of hopes
The lottery result that we've been crossing our fingers for

We could paint our walls a lighter shade of blue
Or we could pack our bags and change the entire view
To January white

If nothing else we're given a little time
To change the heart in which we change our minds
Our hourglass turn

This year is a sealed envelope
With apprehensive hope
We brace for anything
I swear I understand that nothing changes that
The past will be the past
But the future is brighter than any flasback

Well we could let our guards down a little easier this time
We could trust that when there's joy, there's nothing dark behind
In spite of history
Hope is January white

This year we're starting over again
Letter openers in hand
A chance to take a chanceear I understand the past will be the past
And nothing changes that
But the future is brighter than any flashback


Wires
Carefully cut the wire and wait
Life is a series of narrow escapes

A chain reaction
A loose thread that we must pull

The birth of religion
In the challenge unknown

But all desperation leads to a fork in the road
We live for understanding
Or for control

So very carefully we'll cut the wire and wait

With one eye closed
We'll draw back

Catch our breath and let go
Time is the string in between
The arrow and the bow
If there's one thing we've learned
As our pulse returns
Timing is everything

If life is a series of narrow escapes
We're shifting our weight
In this tightrope ballet

We're down to the wire

1. A Favorite Song

This is a bit of a challenge, but I think I'm going to have to go with a classic for my current favorite. Keeping in mind that my top song changes frequently.

I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back, no turning back

Though none go with me still I will follow
Though none go with me still I will follow
Though none go with me still I will follow
No turning back, no turning back

The world behind me the cross before me
The world behind me the cross before me
The world behind me the cross before me
No turning back, no turning back

I think this song represents my mindset towards the beginning of the new year. I had a day or so where I was questioning everything I had decided and wanted in life and wondering if I wasn't way off. But keeping this in the front of my mind helps me remember where I'm going.

Me off.

p.s. Sleeping at Last January EP came out today!!! Haven't downloaded it yet, may do so now.